This was published on the Society of Classical Poets back in March 2020.
THIRTEEN FAMOUS POEMS
(Updated for the Quarantine)
by Rob Crisell
I think no eye has ever seen,
A poem like this quarantine.
How do I glove thee? Let me count the ways.
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom not-so-clean,
That a virus there lived that you may know
By the name of COVID-19.
Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for me –
I told him that I had acquired
My herd immunity.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of life postponed,
but not the bill.
Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
My 401k is barely there.
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.
Or maybe it’s better to tell you the caper
Of how I discovered some toilet paper
At a Safeway only three miles from here.
I must go down to the mall again, to the lonely mall where I’ll buy
Some sort of decent take-out food. This time, I’ll make it Thai.
To err is Wuhan; to forgive, divine.
Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out—
DON’T TOUCH YOUR EYE!
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That yield the valleys, groves, and hills,
So long as you can pay my bills.
Water, water, everywhere,
But all the time we think:
Who wants water anyway
With so much wine to drink?
Oh, my love is like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June.
But my love says that she’ll murder me
If this ain’t done real soon.